Undecided Major, Minor, and Everything In Between

Beowulf

2011-08-20T21:44:00.001-07:00

is the worst book I have ever read. I LOATHE it. Honestly, hardly any of it made sense. If anyone reading this (if anyone is in fact reading this) is uncomfortable with my statement, don't fret. It takes a lot to make me dislike a book. I have met hardly any that haven't been placed on the shelves of my soul. But Beowulf? No...it is in the ashes of the fireplace where bad books are banished.

My secret to understanding any of the 3,000+ lines of the epic? I compared it to Lord of the Rings. My NerdCreds are really stacking up :D

On to a better subject: music. I have been giving ears over to the equine themed bands as of late. It started off with Band of Horses, then progressed to the ethereal Horse Feathers, and today, I became a youngster once again with Foals. All of these bands have similar undertones, and the title of "indie" in the genre box. And all of them are. lovely. I'd suggest giving them a listen. "The Funeral" by BoH, "Mother's Sick" by HF, and "Spanish Sahara" by Foals are my initial suggestions, but I haven't listened to a track by any that I have not liked.

The other obsession of today? Polyvore.com. Absolutely splendid site. Binary canvases where one can display their collections and tastes for all the world-or just themselves-to see. It's addicting, and easy-to-use, and splendidly fun. Polyvore allows the older-than-children children to play dress-up with dolls, but in a mod, sophisticated way. There are even contests for the hardcore stylers. All in all, it's a great site. You can ask for advice (and receive good feedback in a timely fashion [pun intended]), answer questions posted by other users, and explore the global fashions trends and hidden corners. There's even a nice little clipper that enables you to bring your own photos and finds to the web, allowing for a seriously personal set to be created, especially when the product you posses cannot be found online. Try it on. You'll be surprised how much fun it is.

Goals are great things to have. I make lots and lots and hardly ever follow through with them (although I think imagining is still great for the mind). But I made a new goal I plan on sticking with. I am going to write every single day. Since that writing career is something I sure would like to have, I figured I should work towards that daily. I DO want to achieve the status of "writer"; the industry should know that I'm serious. And I am. My work is going to reflect that.

Goodnight all.

Dog Day of Summer

2010-08-01T16:02:00.000-07:00

I just got back inside from spending some quality time with my pup in the backyard (and no, the dog above is not mine). Honestly, romping around with a fuzzy four legger is fun! I love watching her skip around and flip her flouncy tail. She looks up at me with those enormous dark eyes…what’s not to love? What really caught my attention was her interest in a toad. She was so concentrated on the little guy. Where he hopped, she jumped back, startled, and bounced towards him. So badly did she want to play with it, it was all I could do to restrain her! Finally, I had to place him out of her reach-her jumps were getting a bit too close. Once she realized the toad was gone, she sniffed every single blade of grass it had come into contact with. The thought hit me-that is how we should be towards God. Her mix of fear and curiosity, desire to know and to follow was remarkable. After she was pooped out (the little fur bucket gets worn out easily in the heat), I held her in my arms and we watched the wildlife around us. Her sharp eyes closely followed butterflies; her credulous grin beamed up at me. The trust she placed in me was also astounding. If we could extrapolate these types of behaviors found in our loving animals to our own behaviors towards God, our relationship with our Father would be so much better! I am going to make it my goal to be like a child and like a pup towards the Lord-curious, trusting, honest, a little bit fearful, and absolutely loving.

This brings me to a letter I found earlier today. My mum brought up a box I had not seen in years. It was filled to the brim with colouring books, random papers, crayons, AWANAs handbooks, and stickers. Amongst the “random papers” I found a letter my much younger self had written to my first dog after she passed away. I was brought to tears by the emotion packed inside the page. I was proud of myself for the words I wrote-I think I knew myself better then than I do now. The blunt honesty of children is so amazing. Today, I feel like I complicate way too many things in my life. I do not just feel something, I feel many things. When I set goals, there is no two-step solution to reaching the end. I have so many criteria for everything. This letter brought me back to the simpler ways in which I used to function. Maybe I’ll let that influence my everyday ways as well…here is the letter. (To explain-Tweety was a canary we had who passed away shortly before my dog.) I hope you all enjoy and have a dog day :)

“Dear Tana,

I love you so much. I really miss you two. Can you please watch over me and everyone you think needs a guardian angel? You would be one of the best guardian angels anyone could ask for. I hope that you’re happy and comfortable in your new home. You are the reason why I’m going to do good things so I can go to Heaven and see you. What are you going to come back as? I hope it’s a cat that roams around dad’s house. Sorry dad buried you with Tweety. It must be annoying, but at least the whole gang in Heaven is having fun! Please put your wonderful look that you had in your eyes in the stuffed animal I call Tana. I really love you so much and can’t wait to meet up with you and the gang in Heaven. It must be a beautiful place with all of you guys there! Tana, I’m not scared to die anymore, so whenever you need me, I’m willing to come. I love you! Tell everyone hi!”

I signed with “Love” and my name, PLUS five hearts and “I love you so much!”. This makes me want to pray so simply, so honestly, so direct. And it makes me ache for the child I was. I only hope I can raise my children (someday) to be as honest and loving as I was, and hopefully still can be.

Virtual Everything

2010-07-15T19:40:00.000-07:00

I must admit, I am a huge participant in the virtual world of music. Files are really the everyday medium of musical interaction I take part in. But recently, I have become infatuated with records-45s, your larger-scale albums, all of it. I adore it. To me, there is something so fantastical about the audible crackle of time filling the uninhabited space of a room, a thought, a mind. I feel as if I am taking part in yesterday's present and making it today's present. These thoughts were inspired a good time ago but were brought to the top of the pond by the unsettling current of virtual books. I was on a lovely site, www.readprint.com, and had tucked in to "The Picture of Dorian Gray" by Oscar Wilde. Now, not even a quarter of the way into the first chapter did the empty feeling begin its gloomy descent. There is absolutely nothing like holding a book in one's hands, turning the pages saturated with thought, and the scent of hard work wafting around your head like a tangible cloud of life. The essence of reading is being left behind by today's warp-speed society. Like time with family, holding a real book is far for satisfying than a screen. Now, I plan on going out and supporting, say Barnes & Noble, and purchasing "The Picture of Dorian Gray" by Oscar Wilde because, personally, I like to feel the knowledge and the stories, not just see them. I would, however, suggest checking out the linked site. It's very interesting and, although it does not boast a myriad books, it does have a great collection of classics. The Austen's, Bronte's, yes, they are there. But the next time you really want to delve into a literary work, support the author, the company, the bookstore, the economy-and buy the physical work. Trust me, it is very much worth it.

The same goes for albums. Try it out. There's nothing like that "vintage" crackle (^_^)

~T

(Music of the day: check out Led Zeppelin's "The Ocean" or "Hey Lady"...I don't see how one could go wrong with this band....
Book of the day: Lord of the Flies by William Golding...wonderful description)

"You & Me"

2010-07-12T18:13:00.000-07:00

Honestly, in times of frowny faces, a happy-go-lucky song is a wonder. Like castor oil for generations before mine, it can cure many forms of emotional illnesses. Here is a song by One Night Only I find to be a ray of light on my darkest days. Enjoi :)

People say i only hear what i want to
that much is true
people say i only see what i want to
then how come i see you

you and me, equality
thats how it should be
you and me
you and me, equality
thats how it should be
you and me

people say that i creep you out
no understanding, no cash in hand
all i see, is apparently
what do they know
about you and me

you and me, equality
thats how it should be
you and me
you and me, equality
thats how it should be
you and me

lover just take me
come over, check it out

you and me, equality
thats how it should be
you and me
you and me, equality
thats how it should be
you and me

people say that i creep you out
no understanding, no cash in hand
all i see, is apparently
what do they know
about you and me

TintedLens

2010-07-11T14:40:00.000-07:00

I’m unsure of how to state this. I’ve been a bit overwhelmed by the image Hollywood presents of women. (well, hopefully that worked as a statement of emotion…)There is this immense pressure to be physically beautiful and that, in a nutshell, seems to me that it requires almost unreachable limits. I don’t see how one can be extremely thin, have curves, never-out-of-place locks, unblemished skin, etcetera, and be content. I do not doubt that it is possible; I do, however, doubt that it is possible in a wide group of individuals. If one is constantly shaping their appearances to fit these strict requirements, how could they possibly be happy? Personally, when I scrutinize my outer image, I become discouraged. If you focus on how you look, you will most likely find things you are unhappy with. You know what? I don’t want to do that anymore. At all. I want to focus on being a better person on the inside and that will, I presume, reflect on the outside. But if it doesn’t, I’m okay. I want to be happy with who I am. I believe acceptance of your personality will result in acceptance of your outer image. Sure, I could be incorrect in all of my theories .But this is something I want to work for because, honestly, I don’t see how it could go awry.

The other day, I read an excellent quote on Elle Blogs by artist Dain where he paraphrased his mother. He agreed with her that women today do not leave much to one’s imagination. I am also in agreement. The iconic beauties of times, decades, generations past are more than gone. The classic styles they brought to life have passed on with them. I am not in any way encouraging us all to go out and wear pencil skirts, pin curl our hair, and wear, dare I say it, stockings…I am, however, suggesting, that as the face of the future, we keep in mind what tools we want to use to secure our places in the world. A body can be cultivated and sent to war by almost anyone. What we need is intelligence, bold thoughts, determination, and the list goes on and on. So many characteristics can be embodied and nurtured. These are the weapons we need to outfit ourselves with. And yes, we do, generally speaking, wish to be physically attractive. Isn’t that part of the game of love? But why have a lovely outer appearance with no personal substance to back it with? I don’t see the attraction, long-term speaking, of a hollow shell. But maybe that is just me. I know the entire world does not share my opinions.

I am not avoiding the flaws women have possessed in the past. I understand that the decades of which I am focusing were not perfect, and women and men alike did engage in activities I am not supporting. I do heartily believe that from history, we in the present can learn many a lesson. Like many scenarios, life tends to repeat itself. Take war, riots, protests, and blue jeans, the things will not die. And that is not always bad, or good, or anything in between. It is what it is. But techniques improve (typically) as time passes. We learn from our mistakes (hopefully) and can alter situations to what we believe will work out better this or that time around. What I am saying is this: take a classy icon, determine what impresses you about her, and take those elements and mix them with ones you posses/wish to posses. Then, work towards that. As my dear friend Tony Crowe says, you can push yourself the furthest, and kick yourself in the butt the hardest. No one else can challenge yourself like you can. Work to make a better “you”, a person you are proud to be. Do good for others. Thank God for the day He has given you. Compliment others joyously. Tell someone you love them. Smile when it rains. Give a hug (or two, or three…). Laugh at your goof-ups. Enjoy mistakes. Make the best of absolutely everything. And when you need to cry, cry. My tip: find an caring shoulder to cry on.

Music of the day: "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz; also, check out your local classical station(s). Honestly, they're wondrous :)

Sprinkles, Confetti, and Other Sparkly Pieces

2010-06-14T18:50:00.000-07:00

Jewels capture light and reflect it like summer smiles. Word jewels are similar in the ways of bringing emotions, typically of joy, to our attention. Have you ever read a phrase that makes you laugh, either to yourself or out loud? I love moments like those. Here are some quotes and verses I've compiled. They always make me smile and I hope that they will do the same for you. :)

Ephesians 3:17-19

I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Romans 8:28 All things work for the good of those who love.

Romans 8:31
If God is for us, who can ever be against us?

“The sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to go on the
heights.” Habakkuk 3:19

If we never do anything but talk about our ideas and dreams then nothing ever grows from them. Little steps towards our goals will eventually become giant accomplishments. The best part about it is that once we step into faith and action God jumps in and helps.

If you can be a living demonstration of the love of the Lord you will find your purpose.

Don't be afraid to pray for miracles, there is a better chance of miracles happening when we pray than when we do not.

Keep the faith! He loves you and wants to care for you! You don’t have to go through anything alone or unsupported because He is with you always.

In times of sorrow, always remember to trust in the Lord.

The best way to prepare for life is to begin to live.
Elbert Hubbard

One way to get the most out of life is
to look upon it as an adventure.
William Feather

To live is like to love--all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it.
Samuel Butler

Lord help me to stay connected to you today. Jesus help me to be more aware that my eyes are your eyes, my ears are your ears and that my actions are your actions.

Julie & Julia

2010-02-06T17:52:00.000-08:00

Wow. Has anyone read Julie and Julia ? If yes, then I congratulate you. If not, then you have missed out dearly. Yes, it may be slightly offensive because of the vulgarity of the language but it is a true gem. I read it and laughed out loud at times, blushed at others, and felt like I could cry right along with Julie Powell. It also made me appreciate my cat more.

Just this evening I watched the movie of this book. I must say, I have been (yet again) lifted in spirit by the J-girls. In the book, I preferred the times of talk concerning Julie and Eric; in the movie, my eyes were searching for the presence of Paul, and ultimately, Julia Child. I am inspired by this entire project-the writer coming up through the dust that she thought had eternally settled, the woman coming into a kitchen (in none other than THE Cordon Bleu) full of men, and the triumph of love. Yes, I said it: The Triumph Of Love.

Cliche, yes. True? Still a "oui". The many themes found throughout are uplifting. I want to finish my book now. I want to go into the kitchen and whip up (no pun intended, cook-y folks) a souffle. But most of all, I want to smile. I feel like Julia Child's spirit has invaded my put-down zone and stuffed it with happiness and the ability to laugh at one's "mistakes". I ask you, what is a mistake? Truly, does one have an accurate description? I think not.

This evening, after a delicious dinner of some wonderful white bean chicken chili (or something), I threw together a batch of triple chocolate brownies. Easy enough, or so I thought. I was distracted by Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone , what can I say? Typical, I forgot to set the timer so I was approximately five minutes off for the next hour. Then, when I went to stab the innocent desert with a toothpick, I somehow "forgot" to put on a heat resistant glove (who has the time for such things?) and caressed my sensitive hand with a nice swat of heat.

I chided myself for my lack of thought, then went on with my life. During a break in the movie, I went into the kitchen to cut the brownies. I thought the difficult part was over, but oh, how I was wrong! I went to slide the knife under the first brownie when the unthinkable happened-it crumbled into a gooey pile of undecipherable desert. I had to scoop a "brownie" up and mold it onto the paper towel (my sorry attempt to save trees). I deemed it Ugly Cake.

The entire event was serenaded by my Julia Child Intoxicated Laughter. I would slop it up, giggle softly, and imagine just what Child would have been saying had she been there to witness my sorry attempt to save my creation. It was joyous! I felt as if I had really accomplished something.

My lesson-learned of the day is this: no matter what, don't let the smile get wiped from your face because once it is, the world doesn't look so bright. Keep smiling everyone! Have a good day!

~Music~

2009-08-09T20:15:00.000-07:00

Music has to be one of the greatest things in the world. It spreads love, peace, ideas, dreams, emotions, messages- and so much more. It is so easy to become wrapped up in the sounds of someone's thoughts and lose yourself completely. Just like reading, music can take you places.